Chapter 29 - Faith

So many people misinterpret scripture and want to turn it into whatever they want. There are some things of scripture that are hard to understand because they describe things that we have never seen or imagined. Yet that is what faith is. Hebrews 11:1 tells us that "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Our faith reminds us that God is in control even when we can't see him. The difficult thing for many men is that they are used to being in control, or at least thinking they are in control. That has been a real struggle for me as someone who likes to look at a problem and find an immediate solution and get to work on it. The reality is that some things can't be fixed here on earth. God's will has to penetrate lives to make the difference. Some will always question God's existence or at least His involvement in our lives because of the bad things that happen in our world, but God never promises us anywhere in the Bible that all things would be good. In fact, if anything he warns us over and over about the evil that is in the world and about people that will do anythign for their own self-glorification including hurting anyone who gets in there way. The encouragement of scripture is that "God is working all things out for the good of those who love him." The implication is that there will be some bad stuff that happens in our lives. In faith we trust that God has already seen that and is working things out for our good. The ultimate good is heaven and sometimes that is simply what we will have to wait for which is difficult. But if you are a blood bought believer in Jesus Christ who has accepted the forgiveness of your sins through the blood of Jesus it's gonna work out just fine! Keep the faith and keep on reaching!

Chapter 28 - Relationship with Christ

I've heard people say, "The Bible says that God helps those who help themselves." No it doesn't. What the Bible does say is that, "God blesses those who are poor in spirit and admit that they need him." I once heard an old indian tale of a caterpillar inside a small ring of fire. As the fire grew and the smoke thicken the caterpillar rather than crawling would raise the front half of its body straight up in the air balancing itself with the back half, jus tlooking for a way out. I think that there are a lot of people stuck in a spiritual ring of fire and rising up to look for anyway out. Jesus said that he was the only way out and that no man would be able to see the Father except through him. So why do we try so hard to find answers in other places?

Dungy gives the following three suggestions to protecting your heart as you search for truth. First, guard what goes into your mind. As the computer world has taught as "garbage in" means "garbage out". Second, spend time in the Word of God. You have to know the word to live the word. Third, pray! Not just pray about those who are sick and dying, although you should never stop praying for them. But expand your prayer life to include the real life day to day decision making that you have to go through on your journey to have a relationship with Christ. Let him guide the way!

Chapter 27 - Eternal Self-Esteem

This may be the shortest chapter in Dungy's book, but possibly the most powerful. I love the scripture that he begins with about the time God takes in creating each and every one of us. I find myself asking questions that begin with "why" quite often these days, and even when I can't see an answer I have a faith that God "knows why". I am about to become a grandfather far earlier than I would have chosen, but I am excited because I know God is knitting my granddaughter together. Every life has a purpose. Often times our choices take us down different paths than God originally had in mind. He allows us to make choices and then works to "make our paths straight" again when we step out of his will.

Jesus said that we are each far more valuable to God than any flowers of the field and yet God creates them beautiful, just as he has us. I feel so bad for those that have been so beaten up and beaten down that they feel they can do nothing. I pray that I can do a better job of encouraging those that are so beaten.

Chapter 26 - Role Model

I feel so sorry for young people today who don't have readily available positive role models. My life was full of them. I remember Coach King, Coach Rose, Coach Petry and Coach Copeland who were my youth baseball coaches and taught me a lot about the game I love, and my college coach that showed me that hard work and dedication paid off in more ways than wins and loses. I remember the Brookings, Billy Pyle and Dwayne Weber that were youth sponsors who taught me so much about the God I love. My parents were phenomial as I watched my dad serrve diligently in church and my mom sitting on the edge of the bed reading her Bible and praying every morning. Now after twenty years as a parent I know who she was praying for. Now I watch my wonderful wife dig into the scripture and I long to have her knowledge and understanding of the truths of God's word.

There is a verse of scripture that challenges me and haunts me all at the same time. It is found in 1 Corinthians 11:1 - Paul says to "follow me as I follow Christ". I love how the emphasis is on following Christ, but what a challenge to show others the way.

I hope you have a role model and I hope you realize you are someone's role model. I'd love to hear your stories ...

Pardon the Interruption

I will be posting twice today and wanted to use this first one to pass on some information. I apologize for the glithces over the last two weeks. Two weeks ago I had some very trying personal issues that I had to take care of and simply was not on the computer. Last week I had login difficulties. Ok better said ... I messed it up on my end. Everytime I think I have become a computer wiz, I screw something up. Oh well ...

Secondly, to my anonymous friend I have prayerfully chosen not to respond or post or even read anonymous responses. That has been my policy for years in regards to email, snail mail, phone calls etc. I will be more than happy to discuss issues in person and through the blog when people are kind enough to identify themselves. I know that when I send letters to the editor about important community events I always receive a courtesy call to make sure the letter was from me. I will follow that practice.

So to my anonymous reader, come see me and let's talk, or if you are really searching for Jesus and don't live close to us I pray you find someone you can talk to in person. Any now for the rest of the story ...

Chapter 13 - Education and Athletics

As one who has been there let me simply say, athletics are far over rated. Now there are some great lessons that can be learned about working together as a team for a common goal, but too many times we lose sight of that. There are such a small number of kids who start playing city league sports that are ever able to play at the high school level. A smaller number get to play in college and almost no one gets to go pro. In fact, the percentage of college athletes that end up going pro is less than 5%.

It is interesting that Paul used athletic illustrations a lot (you gotta love the guy) because there are so many comparisons to functioning together on the athletic field and in the church. We do need to keep in good spiritual training and we need to remember that we are a team and it is not about me all the time.

So let's keep this simple. Enjoy athletics for the season and purpose and not lose sight of the big picture!

Chapter 12 - Powerful Thoughts

Job said, "What I always feared has happened to me. What I dreaded has come true." I could be a writer for the TV show worst case scenarios. I have to be very careful not to jump to hoorible conclusions when life takes a detour. I love how Dungy finishes page 103 - "Do yourself a favor, and don't make it any harder than it has to be. In those moments, be careful how you speak to yourself; be careful how you think of yourself; be careful how you conduct yourself; be careful how you develop yourself."

Positive thinking by itself won't do the trick. Positive thinking needs to be followed by positive actions. But without positive thinking, positive actions very seldomly occur.

Listen to the positive encouragement from Paul, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure,whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

Chapter 11 - Mentoring

Everytime I read or hear Dungy talk about his son Jordan I am amazed. I had never heard of children born without the ability to feel pain. I can't imagine being a child or parent in that situation. Anyone who enjoys learning from pain, has there own disability, because enjoying pain is not natural. As adults however we know the lessons that we have learned through the pains of life.

The worst thing that I can think of however is not being able to learn from your own pain. We all experience the pains of adolescents and the brutal teasing. We experience adult pains in marriage, jobs and parenting. I remember thinking that I would be the perfect parent to teenagers. As a youth minister I often was very judgmental of parents that couldn't get though to their teens. That all stopped six years ago when I became a parent of teens. There has been a lot of joy in the journey, but there has certainly been a lot of pain. The irony is twenty two years ago the first adult class I taught in Shelbyville was a class on parenting. All I had was a dog, and a bunch of other people's kids. I apologize openly for 90% of what I taught in that class. I had never experienced parenting a teen and shut have kept my mouth shut. Twenty two years and a lot of pain later, I still don't have all the answers but I coudl sure do a better job of teaching the class.

I guess the best way to finish today is to say, if you are trying to be a Christian dad and need a mentor, I might not be the best one to check with but I feel your pain.

Chapter 10 - The Power of Positive Influence

Do you remember reading and discussing integrity in chapter 2? We said integrity was who you were when you thought no one was watching and the reality was that someone was always watching. Dungy shares of a new teammate who years later revealed that he had been able to stay away from the drug scene of pro sports by watching Dungy's example. We never know when people are watching how we live as Christians.

The difficulty is that those that are watching sometimes only watch what they want to see, and often times are unable to see what is going on behind the scenes. Therefore many make judgments that are unfortunate because they are not completely accurate. While that is frustrating, it is what it is and we must still remain positive in how we react.

I think Dungy makes a great point as he compares the internet with interpersonal interaction. Even as I type these daily blogs I wonder how much better ideas could be communicated face to face than behind the safety of a computer screen, where it is easy to miss the sincerity or in some cases the lack of sincerity with which things are communicated. While I know that there have been many things that I have had to swallow hard and receive as criticism from hidden anonymous writers, there are also times that I misread information that would have come across much more positively if it had been presented face to face.

Reread these words from Dungy. Do you want to have a positive influence on the life of someone else? Then let me ask you ad few more questions. When was the last time you went to someone who needed a visit? When was the last time you made a call - or wrote a letter - to someone who could use a lift in his or her life? When was the last time you had a date with your spouse or a "date night" with your little girl, who adores you? When was the last time you sent flowers to someone for no particular reason? WHen was the last time you did something that will forever be a positive memory in someone's life?

Chapter 9 - Taking Counsel

What great quote from Ben Franklin to begin this chapter, "Tis great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults, greater to tell him his." I am so thankful that I have a few very close people in my life, who have over and over again made wise decisions that can truly say things that I don't want to hear without being judgmental. They admit their own faults and shortcomings and realize that this journey to follow Christ is difficult at best, but is worth every heartache and struggle.

The writer of Proverbs tells us that "plans succeed through good counsel; don't go to war without wise advice." We are going to war every day. In fact, I have found that church leaders are in the sights of the assassin every day. While it is to be expected from the evil assassin it is sad when the shots come from friendly fire. So how do distinguish between counsel that helps and criticism that destroys.

Dungy says it is in being constructive. What a great encouragement to stay focused on solutions and communications. I have found the greatest help and counsel coming from those that openly talked about how life and be better, and what we can do to correct shortcomings.

OOPS

Something happened to my blog from yesterday and it didn't post (surely it wasn't operator error). I'll repost it and today's this evening after a morning of worship with the bride of Christ and an afternoon with my bride.

Chapter 8 - Friendship

We start our second week of the journey to be Uncommon with a discussion about friends. I found Dungy's discussion of the two-way street very interesting because I have seen many people including my own son, be much more loyal to friends than they were to him. My son has always been the champion of the underdog and unfortunately many of those friends have simply been dogs. Do you remember when that stray dog showed up at the house and your parents told you not to feed it because it would keep coming back? The reality is lots of people want to hang around for "scraps from the table", but true friends invite you to their table as well. They understand the principle of share and share alike.

The writer of Proverbs said, "A friend loves at all times and a brother is born in adversity."(17:17) He also wrote, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."(18:24) I am so thankful for friendships that I have with the elders and staff of our church, they have truly helped me survive the last few years. I am thankful for friendships that I have with by brother and best friend from high school. Though we don't see each other as often as we should, both have proven themselves ready to drop everything and come with only a phone call.

My prayer for men is that they would have friends! Not drinking friends and gambling friends, the kind that are always willing to be around for the party, but friends that will drop everything when the phone rings anytime day or night if they are needed. There is only one way to have those kind of friends ... you have to answer the phone when you are called!

Chapter 7 - Respect Authority

Following Romans 13:1-2 is really tough at times. It says, "Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. So anyone who rebels rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished." As a young person it is hard to follow because let's face we knew it all then and didn't want anyone telling us what to do.

But as an adult when we realize we don't know everything, we do know enough to know that sometimes people in authority do things, or ask us to do things that we just can't agree with. Dungy doesa great job of describing a couple of those times in his life. How many of those times can you think of? The majority of the time, however, those in authority in the various arenas of our life know a little more about a given situation and therefore can make a more informed decision than we can.

As the father of a twenty year old daughter and nearly eighteen year old son, I had to chuckle at he comment by Dungy's daughter on page 70, "I just wish he could have made it until he was twenty, because when I was seventeen or eighteen, sometimes the things that you guys say to us didn't make sense. But about the time I turned twenty they started making a lot more sense." As I mentioned yesterday there are a lot of times that I have made harsh statements that don't even make sense to me when I look back, I just pray that as both my children age things will start to make more sense as gaps are filled in for them.

Chapter 6 - Fatherhood

I love Dungy's quote on page 55, "The Bible wasn't written for those who have it figured out, but instead it is God's word to those of us who are muddling through life." I really don't know what to write today because I feel like I am muddling through fatherhood. I know I was always present in my kids life and that I knew they were watching me. I am not sure I always matched what I said and did.

I guess the one thing that I was committed to was loving the mother of my children. I think that may be the greatest gift of a father is love their children's mother, 'til death do us part. In the end we all make mistakes in every area of life and thus when it comes to fatherhood I am so thankful for grace.

Chapter 5 - How to Treat a Woman

OK so it is probably time for you to get over the "head of the household" thing, because if that is the phrase you are holding onto you aren't ready to be that person. It doesn't take long in looking at the passage that a lot of women scorn in Ephesians 5 to learn that God was more concerned with men knowing how to treat a woman than a woman knowing how to treat a man. The sheer volumn holds much truth. In a very small section he speaks to wives and in a section four times the volumn he speaks to husbands. Basically if men would treat their wives the way God inspired Paul to describe their portion becomes quite easy.

The whole chapter of Ephesians 5 however is based on Christians submitting to one another. I know men who, by any standard I would use, are not even Christians that want to claim "head of the household" status and quote the Bible as if they know it. The key to the marriage relationship functioning in biblical terms is both partners (man & woman) being God followers.

That is why Paul so strongly encouraged us to not be unequally yoked which has nothing to do with race or nationality, but has everything to do with understanding who God is and what he wants for his children.

I love Dungy's challenge to read John 3:16 with your spouse in mind. I just reminded myself that "God loved Kimberley so much that He gave His son Jesus to die for her." I need to love her the same way!

Chapter 4 - Courage

Well we are four days into this journey. If you are reading along with us send me a note to let me know.

Today's chapter is about courage. I needed to go no farther than the opening quote from Mark Twain to be motivated to consider how life is going. Twain said, "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." How many things have you dreamed of doing and been convinced that you just shouldn't take the risk?

The word fear appears 326 times in the Bible and the word afraid appears 206 times. The majority of those times it is in the most often heard command in the scripture, "Do not be afraid." Philippians 1:20 says, "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death." I have found that God's promise for courage is true that when I am weakest he becomes strongest and gives me the strength and courage to endure and move forward.

So what sails do you need to open on the seas of life? What would it take for you to do that?

Chapter 3 - Honesty and Stewardship

Quit tootin your own horn. Nobody likes a bragard or name dropper. My college baseball coach used to teach us that there was a fine line between confidence and conceit. Then when we would take the field he would often to tell us to walk the line. I loved Dungy's comparison of Barry Sanders and Deion Sanders. Wow what a contrast in personalities.

Matthew 23:12 tells us whoever humbles himself will be exalted, but whoever exalts himself will be humbled.

The big question that I see here is how do you walk the line? How do you balance the confidence in who you are and your abilities with the humility that God desires in your life? What are your thoguhts?

Chapter 2 - Honesty and Integrity

Yesterday we talked about our character. So much of our character is determined by our level of integrity. I am not sure who first coined the phrase, "Integrity is who you are when no one is looking." I first read it from Bill Hybels 20 years ago at a Willowcreek Conference and it really stuck with me. I was thrilled to see Dungy quote it on page 12. The hardest part about living it out is to realize that there are very few times when no human is looking and never a time God doesn't see your actions. The phrase should probably be rewritten that, "Integrity is who you are when you think no one is looking." Can you think of a time when you thought no one was watching you and later found out that they were? How did you find out someone was watching?

The book of Daniel is full of stories of integrity. From Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego refusing to bow to the statue of the king to Daniel praying no matter who was watching. What would you have to change in your life to live with that kind of integrity? As Tony Dungy said it is the "choice between what's convenient and what's right". Do the right thing?

Chapter 1 - Character

I remember my dad telling me once that it takes a lifetime to build a reputation and a split second to destroy it. Well all of us have probably at sometime or another had one of those bad split seconds. Unfortunately we have had to learn the hard way about the amount of time that it takes to rebuild character and the trust that goes with it.

In chapter one Dungy makes a comparison between a couple of players that they were considering drafting. In the end much of the decision came down to character. In the fast paced world of the NFL it was refreshing to read that at least a few teams still consider character important. We have been bombarded over the last two decades with leaders who had no character.

Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 15:33 that "Bad company corrupts good character!" I love Dungy's quote on page 5, "What you do is not as important as how you do it." So let's ask each other as men, "How you doin?"

He is right on target when he says that our character is determined by decisions we make in challenging times. What are the challenges on your plate right now? The decisions you make determine the kind of person you are. Make those tough decisions before the challenging times come and then you simply have to hold on to what you know is right!

So what are your thoughts about character?